It's time for me to grow up , wake up , and face my own problem ! 
It's time to make some decition !
I'm a selfish man! Just thinking about this makes my chest hurts...
I have hurt so many people and friends. always say I wanna be a better person ! but i am not !
Just a childish anti-grown-up man! 
A mature man should take full responsiblity for his own life ! and face all the consequence life might have brought to him! 
No pain, no gain ! what a true fact whick I need to lock that in my head !